Thursday, September 30, 2010

Top 10 Reasons I Don’t Go to Rays Games at the Trop

Top 10 Reasons I Don’t Go to Rays Games at the Trop

We have heard countless reasons from area residents for not attending games in downtown St. Petersburg, where the stadium is one of the most easily accessible sports arenas in the nation. Here are the ten most often-heard excuses this season.

10. “I’ve been banned ever since I tried to see if the annoying jerk next to me could blow his vuvuzela through his ah-noos.”
9. “I’m afraid one of the catwalks will fall on me.”
8. “I get lost when I try to find the Trop’s First Avenue entrance from the Interstate’s Fifth Avenue exit.”
7. “There’s no Nordstrom’s or Saks on that side of Tampa Bay.”
6. “Too many obnoxious Packer fans.”
5. “I lost my cowbell in a canasta game.”
4. “I keep forgetting that I can eat before I go to the game and not spend an extra eighty dollars on cold hot dogs and
stale beer.”
3. “Raymond scares my children — and they’re in their thirties.”
2. “I can’t find three other people to go with me so I can get the full-car parking discount.”
And the Number One reason I don’t go to Rays games at the Trop in St. Petersburg:
1. “I live in Tampa — so, of course, I only attend Yankee games!”

P.S.: You know that St. Paul is not Minneapolis. You know that Fort Worth is not Dallas. So what’s so hard about recognizing that St. Petersburg isn’t Tampa?

Thursday, September 16, 2010